Healing the Wound of Rejection
In our last post, I wrote about how shame and fear generate bricks in the backpack we all carry, putting a load on our shoulders that we were never meant to bear.
Usually, there are more bricks in my backpack than I care to realize. I’ve spent much of my working life so far hiding from my shame, trying to find ways to shore up my fragile ego through various impressive achievements.
If I hit it out of the park on my annual review, then I’ll be okay.
If I can just pull off this next big project, then I’ll be okay.
If I get that promotion, then I’ll be okay.
If I can just get my coworkers to like me, then I’ll be okay.
As these examples show, there’s almost always a social dimension to my achievement project. To be impressive, there has to be someone to impress, whether it’s my boss, my colleagues, or even just the people who read my posts on LinkedIn.
The social dimension of ego management makes one possibility most terrifying: rejection.
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